What makes a society the best?, “Society” is a vague term, capable of meaning much or very little. Every individual—unless completely isolated—is part of some form of society.Therefore, it is important to define what is meant by “Best Society” and why its authority is acknowledged. In foreign countries, the Best Society often refers to the oldest aristocracy, not necessarily made up of titled individuals but of families and communities with a long history of high culture. In America, Best Society is characterized more by broad connections to Old World refinement rather than deep, longstanding lineage. Cultivation and refinement are the core qualities of Best Society, despite frequent references to an “Aristocracy of wealth.”
What makes a society the best?
To the general public, wealth is often equated with high status—a belief perpetuated by the sensationalist press and the extravagant social scenes portrayed in movies. While it is true that Best Society tends to be wealthy, and wealthy hostesses who entertain lavishly may seem more glamorous to the press, it is often their more poised and distinguished counterparts, through birthright and refinement, who hold the true social crown.
Just as the most advertised product isn’t always the best, money often thrusts certain people into the public eye. These individuals may or may not belong to true high society, regardless of their numerous press appearances. At times, those portrayed as “society leaders” may indeed be part of “smart” society, but if they are overexposed, they risk becoming more akin to court jesters than the queens they appear to be.”
New York, perhaps more than any city except Paris, thrives on being entertained, thrilled, and surprised all at once. The city eagerly embraces anyone capable of delivering this combination. But achieving such a feat requires no small talent: a dazzling wit, striking originality, a genius for entertainment, and a lavish display of wealth are just the minimum qualifications.
In contrast, Puritan America demands birth, manners, and cultivation as the ticket to its Best Society. It clasps its hands tightly, declaring that New York’s “Best” is, in its view, quite “bad.” This, however, stems from a common confusion, shared by Puritan America and the general public, mistaking the jester for the queen.
In reality, Best Society is not like a court ruled by a specific king or queen, nor is it confined to a single place or group. It is better described as a global brotherhood of people marked by cultivation and worldly knowledge. These individuals possess not just perfect manners but also a perfect manner. Manners, composed of small details of behavior, can be learned, while manner reflects one’s personality and attitude toward life. For example, a true gentleman will never be boastful or overbearing, just as he will never be servile, because such traits do not align with genuine refinement. A man with crude manners typically imitates rather than embodies true social standing.
Etiquette, to be meaningful, must encompass ethics as well as manners. Who a person truly is holds much more significance than how they appear to be. A knowledge of etiquette is crucial for proper behavior, just as clothing is essential for a proper appearance. Just as one wears shoes and gloves without conscious thought, a person with good manners observes etiquette instinctively, without overt effort.
Therefore, Best Society is not an exclusive club for the wealthy or those of noble birth. Rather, it is a fellowship of well-bred individuals, recognized worldwide by their good form, charm, social grace, and natural consideration for others. These qualities are the true credentials of those who belong to this distinguished group.”
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